Life as A Single Gal


Becoming 30 (and single, I must add) is one of the fears that many have. I was asked a million times by my closest ones about how I felt about becoming 30. Two years ago I answered them with a simple shrug that expressed, “So what?”. A year ago I answered with, “Hmm… I think there’s nothing much to be felt. It’s just becoming a year older, like when I turn 29 in the next 6 months, right?”

Now I’m only 6 months away from the big three-oh, but the question begins to haunt. Not in a scary kind of way, but in a reflective one. Beginning on the gathering 3 months ago that I had with my closest friends who were still under 30 at that time, we began to exchange thoughts on how we must felt of becoming 30. Two of my friends became the laugh of the evening because apparently they have never been kissed! And they both also happened to have never been on a real relationship before. Having fallen under our pressure, the two then made a pact of kissing each other if the girl’s time is up (that is in April 2011, so I bet she is looking at her watch very hard now, wishing she could somehow stop it from ticking away and away LOL).

Now I’m a bit luckier in that area than two of my friends. Been kissed? Check. Been kissing? Check. Been in a serious relationship? Check. So obviously my worries should not rely on what my past has become, but what I have done in the past that can inspire me to be a better 30-ish girl.

What does turning 30 mean to me? Well since that evening with my friends, before sleeping I try to do a little reflection and write it on my blackberry note (that is if I’m not to sleepy or too lazy). The reflection results in a set of points of what I would have become by the time I’m turning 30, and here it is:

A. Able to honestly acknowledge my worst traits

B. Recognize what my fortés are

C. Know the best decisions I have ever made so far

D. Know the biggest mistakes I have made in the past and promise to grow out of them

E. Have ever been truly in love

F. Know what my passion is (or passions are)

G. Be my own bestfriend

Later on, the list could grow or shrink, depends on my contemplation result. I hope it won’t grow up, because to realize the 7 points above will already have me dug deeper into memories that are guaranteed will not all be sweet.

Ok, that’s just the bigger picture for now, I will write my thoughts on each point in a separate writings. But first it’s your turn. What does “becoming 30” mean to you? 😉

Recently I’ve been a bit more obsessed than usual about fixing my self up (physical-wise). This is because of the effect my good friend has contaminated me with, being 30 in the soonest future and yet still single.

I’ve admittedly been a bit cynical about men’s parameter of choosing the right “mate”, accusing them with seeing women ONLY from physical aspect. By time this harsh view of mine changed bit by bit, to men choosing women MOSTLY because of women’s physical beauty, and then to men choosing women by FIRSTLY seeing women’s outer appearance.

Now I believe that the latter opinion is true, that men don’t see women only from physical point of view, but be they as God’s made them, men are still visual creatures. Means no matter how smart a woman is, how kind and gentle her heart is, still the first filter a man uses is her physical appearance. So yes, it’s not the MAIN thing for them, but it’s the FIRST thing they see.

Now achieving outer beauty should not be meant to impress a guy. You can put that as the no 2, 3, 4, or last of your reasons list why it is important to be beautiful. But it should never win the no 1’s spot. As for me, I put it as the no 3 on my list 😉

Fixing yourself up, dressing up, putting on make up for me first and foremost is to boosting up my confidence. Honestly I’m a bit short at this department recently, and I know it shows up in my face, my words, and my body language. As a professional and as a single girl, confidence is supposed to be your ammo! Your weapon, your armor, your biggest capital. The most recent situation happens this week which has cost me losing the opportunity to convince some decision maker in the office to buy in my process improvement initiatives. And also there was this wedding that I attended one week ago where 2 super cute doctors (1 of them is a specialist/resident, mind you), super single, but also super shy (that explains the “super single” part), but heck I just couldn’t bring my self up to build a cheer, funny, classy conversation to get them engaged (for the record, I’ve always been a good ice-breaker, good topic bringer, and good listener. Making up an interesting conversation was never a problem). The night ended with zero result.

I think our biggest capital should lie in self confidence.  And to induce self confidence, we should love our selves, inner and outer. And I love my self more when I know I look beautiful, neat, and fragrant.

Later on, I will be writing about what are the parameters of being outerly beautiful. Talking about inner beauty is way out of my league hahaha… Hand it up to my friend Entatarina for the time being.  🙂