Better Off Alone

One thing I’m wonderin’

When you run out of friends

Will you be coming back home?

Let’s think this through again

Let’s take a different spin

Why can’t I leave you alone?

Somewhere tonight, you may be found

With some other girl you’ve been draggin’ around

You lie to yourself, and you lie to me

It seems like the truth is your worst enemy

Cause baby I’m tired, tired of the fight

I’m tired of the lonely days and the dark endless nights

It’s taken some time, cause I didn’t know

If I could ever let you go

You helped me figure it out

I’m better off alone

I may be found, somewhere tonight

Cursing the day you walked into my life

What’s done is done, I can’t change time

But I’ll be damned if I’m not gonna try

Oh I’m gonna try

Baby I’m tired, tired of the fight

I’m tired of the lonely days and the dark endless nights

It’s taken some time, cause I didn’t know

If I could ever let you go

You helped me figure it out

I’m better off alone

But every now and then, my heart gives in

To the hope that someday you’ll change

Then alone I’ll wake, to my own mistakes

That it’s just a foolish game

I’m tired, tired of the fight

I’m tired of the lonely lonely lonely days

and the dark endless nights

You didn’t think, cause you didn’t know

That I’d find the strength to let, let you go

I finally figured it out I’m better off alone

I’m better off alone

One thing before I go

Something I’ve got to know

Boy, did you ever love me?

[[Taken from Katharine McPhee’s self-titled debut album]]

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Listening to this song makes my heart wonder every time.

Why can’t I figure it out? Until now it still feels like you are my DRUGS and I’m ADDICTED to you. I fully realize and I know by heart that you are not good for me. Being related to you will only destroy myself eventually. Someone who knows me so well even confirms that I’m addicted to the pain you are causing me.

So why can’t I let you go? Even though every human being in this earth says that you are not good enough for me, and even though my brain agrees with them all the time, my heart still dreams and longs for you, and cries and loves you!

I think I need to hear it from you in person, and the words must come out of your mouth directly to my face.

“Stella, you need to me let me go”.

“Stella, you will be better off alone. Believe me.”

How pathetic am I?

*written under broken heart mode*