I read somewhere in the prologue of a book which title I forget, someone formulized love like this:

“Love is Passion, Admiration, and Respect.”

I am not a philosophical person, and I never really tried to make my version of love’s formula. But if I ever found the most right definition of love (for me), I think this is it.

What could be more deliberating than to know that someone has passion for you, and admire you, and respect you at the same time? What feeling that could make you feel so complete than to know that someone desires you, adores you, and also treats you with all the respect you should get?

At first there comes Passion.

According to Oxford Dictionary, formal definition of Passion is:

1. A very strong feeling of love, hatred, anger, enthusiasm, etc
2. A state of being very angry
3. A very strong feeling of sexual love (for somebody)
4. A very strong feeling of liking something; a hobby, an activity, etc. that you like very much
5. (the Passion) (in Christianity) the suffering and death of Jesus Christ

If we disregard definition number 5 (not right to be implemented in this context of writing) then I think it sums up to my own version of Passion. Mine says that it is that something that you feel when you want to have him, when you miss him, when you long for his touch, his care, his existence in your life.

Second, there comes Admiration.

According to Oxford Dictionary, formal definition of Admiration is:

1. A feeling of respect and liking for somebody/something for what they are or for what they have done 
2. To look at something and think that it is attractive and/or impressive

Admire to me is to adore somebody because of what he looks like, what he has done, what he achieves, what he has, what talent that he shows, and most importantly, what he is as a person, most of the times (if saying all of the times would sound so naive).

And the third, here comes Respect.

According to Oxford Dictionary, formal definition of Respect is:

1. A feeling of admiration for somebody/something because of their good qualities or achievements
2. Polite behavior towards or care for somebody/something that you think is important

My version of Respect is treating someone with a decent manner that he/she should get naturally, for being who he/she is. When your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t speak to you or treat you, or care for you like you are not an important part of his/her life, then it is not love because he/she doesn’t respect you.

Next question: What is the most important piece of the three?

Is it Passion?
Is Admiration enough?
Is Respect the highest?

My personal view is to regard RESPECT as the most important part of a love relationship.

Passion will be on and off, and admiration will fluctuate along the time, but you can’t lose Respect to your partner even a bit. Why?

Because Respect gives born to commitment.
Respect is the main trigger of compromise.
Respect will keep you away from the courage to abuse your partner (physically and verbally), to have affair with other people, to cheat, to lie, and to ignore.

Once again, it is a mere opinion of an ordinary woman who’s got only experiences and no formal education in psychology or philosophy. You may comment here and give your own personal thought.

Have a fun and healthy love relationship!

 

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