Becoming 30 (and single, I must add) is one of the fears that many have. I was asked a million times by my closest ones about how I felt about becoming 30. Two years ago I answered them with a simple shrug that expressed, “So what?”. A year ago I answered with, “Hmm… I think there’s nothing much to be felt. It’s just becoming a year older, like when I turn 29 in the next 6 months, right?”

Now I’m only 6 months away from the big three-oh, but the question begins to haunt. Not in a scary kind of way, but in a reflective one. Beginning on the gathering 3 months ago that I had with my closest friends who were still under 30 at that time, we began to exchange thoughts on how we must felt of becoming 30. Two of my friends became the laugh of the evening because apparently they have never been kissed! And they both also happened to have never been on a real relationship before. Having fallen under our pressure, the two then made a pact of kissing each other if the girl’s time is up (that is in April 2011, so I bet she is looking at her watch very hard now, wishing she could somehow stop it from ticking away and away LOL).

Now I’m a bit luckier in that area than two of my friends. Been kissed? Check. Been kissing? Check. Been in a serious relationship? Check. So obviously my worries should not rely on what my past has become, but what I have done in the past that can inspire me to be a better 30-ish girl.

What does turning 30 mean to me? Well since that evening with my friends, before sleeping I try to do a little reflection and write it on my blackberry note (that is if I’m not to sleepy or too lazy). The reflection results in a set of points of what I would have become by the time I’m turning 30, and here it is:

A. Able to honestly acknowledge my worst traits

B. Recognize what my fortés are

C. Know the best decisions I have ever made so far

D. Know the biggest mistakes I have made in the past and promise to grow out of them

E. Have ever been truly in love

F. Know what my passion is (or passions are)

G. Be my own bestfriend

Later on, the list could grow or shrink, depends on my contemplation result. I hope it won’t grow up, because to realize the 7 points above will already have me dug deeper into memories that are guaranteed will not all be sweet.

Ok, that’s just the bigger picture for now, I will write my thoughts on each point in a separate writings. But first it’s your turn. What does “becoming 30” mean to you? 😉

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Recently I’ve been a bit more obsessed than usual about fixing my self up (physical-wise). This is because of the effect my good friend has contaminated me with, being 30 in the soonest future and yet still single.

I’ve admittedly been a bit cynical about men’s parameter of choosing the right “mate”, accusing them with seeing women ONLY from physical aspect. By time this harsh view of mine changed bit by bit, to men choosing women MOSTLY because of women’s physical beauty, and then to men choosing women by FIRSTLY seeing women’s outer appearance.

Now I believe that the latter opinion is true, that men don’t see women only from physical point of view, but be they as God’s made them, men are still visual creatures. Means no matter how smart a woman is, how kind and gentle her heart is, still the first filter a man uses is her physical appearance. So yes, it’s not the MAIN thing for them, but it’s the FIRST thing they see.

Now achieving outer beauty should not be meant to impress a guy. You can put that as the no 2, 3, 4, or last of your reasons list why it is important to be beautiful. But it should never win the no 1’s spot. As for me, I put it as the no 3 on my list 😉

Fixing yourself up, dressing up, putting on make up for me first and foremost is to boosting up my confidence. Honestly I’m a bit short at this department recently, and I know it shows up in my face, my words, and my body language. As a professional and as a single girl, confidence is supposed to be your ammo! Your weapon, your armor, your biggest capital. The most recent situation happens this week which has cost me losing the opportunity to convince some decision maker in the office to buy in my process improvement initiatives. And also there was this wedding that I attended one week ago where 2 super cute doctors (1 of them is a specialist/resident, mind you), super single, but also super shy (that explains the “super single” part), but heck I just couldn’t bring my self up to build a cheer, funny, classy conversation to get them engaged (for the record, I’ve always been a good ice-breaker, good topic bringer, and good listener. Making up an interesting conversation was never a problem). The night ended with zero result.

I think our biggest capital should lie in self confidence.  And to induce self confidence, we should love our selves, inner and outer. And I love my self more when I know I look beautiful, neat, and fragrant.

Later on, I will be writing about what are the parameters of being outerly beautiful. Talking about inner beauty is way out of my league hahaha… Hand it up to my friend Entatarina for the time being.  🙂

Basically today is not my first day back in Indo, because it’s already been 5 days hehe…

But I think my cycle is starting to be normal again starting today.

During the trip in Europe, thinking about going home means thinking about all the delicious, spicy, greasy food. Hehehe… And also thinking about how cheap everything is in our country. The money I brought from Indo hardly left traces when I used them in Europe. So yes, going back home means I can eat normally again, and live decently again. 😀

But oh dear, the problem is, Jakarta feels just the way I left it almost 4 weeks ago. Nothing much happened or changed, and I still hate this super big city in some ways.

Traffic jam and criminality are among the reasons why I sometimes can’t stand it.

Fortunately, I’m in a good mood now, so let’s just forget about Jakarta and all its problems, and enjoy the food, the things I can buy, the cheap cost of telecommunication, and meeting my good friends.

Good to be back.

Akhirnya visa Schengen kami di-approve! Huaahhhh… Lega banget setelah tau akhirnya kita bisa pergi juga ke sana. FYI aku dan keluarga (Bapak, Mama, adek: Reni) dan Nova (bestfriend) bakal pergi ke sana buat menghadiri wedding adekku Serina tanggal 09AUG08.

Tiket udah dipesen dari awal April kemaren (many many thanks to Olivier and Olivier’s family yang udah beliin tiket kita 😀 ) buat berangkat tanggal 29JUL08. Rencananya kita bakal di sana sampe tanggal 19AUG08. Karena wedding tanggal 09AUG, dan kami nyampe tanggal 30JUL08, berarti ada sekitar 9-10 hari buat keliling2 desa2 kecil di sekitar Metz. Oh iya, Metz ini adalah kota kecil di sebelah Timur Laut-nya Perancis. Deket banget ke Luxembourg. Katanya sekitar 1 jam naik bus. Kalo ke Brussels kayaknya 2 jam by train. Jadi ntar kalo sempat, keknya bakal ke Benelux (Belgium, Netherlands, Luxembourg) juga deh, sekitar 3 malaman…

Nah, jadi mulai dari tanggal 30JUL08 sampe Hari H, jalan2nya sekitar Metz aja, liat desa2 kecil khas Perancis. Abis hari H, kayaknya kita bakal ke Benelux sekitar 3-4 malam, trus ke Paris selama 4-5 malam. Jadi tour-nya mulai dari desa2 kecil sampe ke kota metropolitannya Perancis. Udah gak sabar liat Versailles dan Louvre! Xixixixixi……..

My blog has been deserted for like almost 2 months now… The thing is, I found new hobby. Xixixixi… Photography, Ladies and Gentlemen!!! And to make my days even busier, my sister (Serina) and her fiance (Olivier) asked me to be their single photographer for their wedding day. SINGLE PHOTOGRAPHER. That means I will fly solo! For the first time! Huhuuuuyyyyy…….. And that’s exactly what happens in this recent month, I work my as* off to learn about photography from scratch with the velocity that only The Flash has. This is me trying to be hero from zero. Wussshhhhhhhhh!!!!

BUT. In other hand, I also have some other things that need to be learnt or fixed ASAP. So many are the priorities, other less important things must be deserted for a while. So what are they? Here is my list of priorities now:

1. Learning photography

Becoz this is my sister’s BIG DAY, her trust to pick me as the solo photographer brings along (as well as honour) great burden. Just as Spiderman’s uncle said: “With great power, comes great responsibility”. Hahaha… Mang ada hubungannye???

2. Singing training (I’m competing in a singing festival at present)

My voice chords have been so spoiled in many, many ways this recent year. So trying to make them wake up  means long hours practice. Huhuuuu…..

3.  Helping my sister in preparing her BIG DAY

Kebaya, souvenirs, snack during cocktail party, wedding rings, etc. As much as they consume my time (especially during weekend), I love doing  them!

4.  Exercise in gym like crazy

The clock is keep ticking, and there is only 5 weeks left for me before the big tour to  ditch this unpretty-unnecessary-very unwellformed-FAT. FAT. FAT.

Between those aforementioned activities, my work in office has been tremendously increasing at a light speed (which is expected, since I’ve only got promoted hehehe…). So ORDERS. I need orders to finish this race with an intact brain. Hahaha…..

 

This song was very popular back in 1988 that it reached the top of the Billboard hot country singles & tracks and won an American Music Award for Favorite Country Single.

I first heard it being sung by Carrie Underwood. Apparently she made her cover version in her latest album, Carnival Ride. I fell in love instantly in the moment I first heard the chorus. Although I am not much of a fan of country music, but I loooove this song. In fact, it is those very classic countri-y notes and melody that keep me listening to it over and over again. BTW, we can hear Vince Gill backing up Carrie’s vocal beautifully in chorus section.

You can hear it by clicking to my multiply account.

 

Facts about this song:

Released: 1988

Genre: Country

Writer: Randy Travis

Singer: Randy Travis

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Yup, masalah yang biasa ditemui kalau kita pengen les ato sekolah?
Gak ada uang.
Ato gak ada waktu.
Ato gak ada keduanya 😀

Jadi mari beandai-andai…

Kalau saya punya uang dan waktu, saya pengen ambil les2 berikut:

1. Vocal
Kenapa? Yah pada dasarnya juga suka nyanyi, nomer satu di daftar udah pasti les nyanyi lah.
Buat apa? Biar bisa nyanyi dengan indah dan mudah seperti ngomong aja layaknya. Jadi misalnya kalo mau nyanyi sambil dance, bisa konsentrasi ke dance-nya ajah. Yang dipikirin bukan “Abis ini ambil napasnya agak panjang niyyy…”, ato “Gila, bait selanjutnya lumayan tinggi. Bersiap2lah diafragma-ku!”. Akibatnya gerakan jadi kacau, emosi lagu gak dapet, napas terengah2.

2. Piano Klasik
Kenapa? Karena kayaknya musikalitas saya masih kurang dan kepekaan terhadap nada juga masih jauuuuhhhh…
Buat apa? Buanyaaakkk… Les piano itu bisa melatih pendengaran dan kepekaan terhadap suara, meningkatkan musikalitas, melatih jari (yang katanya kalau kita melatih ujung jari, kita juga menstimulasi otak kanan – buat kemampuan logika).
Kalo dipikirin dari sudut lain, biar bisa nyanyi sambil main piano kan kerennn (seperti Mbak Alicia), bisa menciptakan improve2 yang tidak standard waktu menyanyikan suatu lagu, bisa menuangkan lagu2 khayalan yang lagi terlintas dalam kepala dalam suatu barisan not yang tertulis (diajarin notasi musik juga kan, soalnya).

Continue reading…