Recently I’ve been a bit more obsessed than usual about fixing my self up (physical-wise). This is because of the effect my good friend has contaminated me with, being 30 in the soonest future and yet still single.
I’ve admittedly been a bit cynical about men’s parameter of choosing the right “mate”, accusing them with seeing women ONLY from physical aspect. By time this harsh view of mine changed bit by bit, to men choosing women MOSTLY because of women’s physical beauty, and then to men choosing women by FIRSTLY seeing women’s outer appearance.
Now I believe that the latter opinion is true, that men don’t see women only from physical point of view, but be they as God’s made them, men are still visual creatures. Means no matter how smart a woman is, how kind and gentle her heart is, still the first filter a man uses is her physical appearance. So yes, it’s not the MAIN thing for them, but it’s the FIRST thing they see.
Now achieving outer beauty should not be meant to impress a guy. You can put that as the no 2, 3, 4, or last of your reasons list why it is important to be beautiful. But it should never win the no 1’s spot. As for me, I put it as the no 3 on my list 
Fixing yourself up, dressing up, putting on make up for me first and foremost is to boosting up my confidence. Honestly I’m a bit short at this department recently, and I know it shows up in my face, my words, and my body language. As a professional and as a single girl, confidence is supposed to be your ammo! Your weapon, your armor, your biggest capital. The most recent situation happens this week which has cost me losing the opportunity to convince some decision maker in the office to buy in my process improvement initiatives. And also there was this wedding that I attended one week ago where 2 super cute doctors (1 of them is a specialist/resident, mind you), super single, but also super shy (that explains the “super single” part), but heck I just couldn’t bring my self up to build a cheer, funny, classy conversation to get them engaged (for the record, I’ve always been a good ice-breaker, good topic bringer, and good listener. Making up an interesting conversation was never a problem). The night ended with zero result.
I think our biggest capital should lie in self confidence. And to induce self confidence, we should love our selves, inner and outer. And I love my self more when I know I look beautiful, neat, and fragrant.
Later on, I will be writing about what are the parameters of being outerly beautiful. Talking about inner beauty is way out of my league hahaha… Hand it up to my friend Entatarina for the time being. 
Monday, November 29, 2010 at 2:54 am
There’s so much to say about this topic!
It’s undeniable that we men pay way too much attention to girls’ appearance. I sometimes regard myself as quite superficial a guy, too.
It also happens that you meet a girl and, after a brief chitchat, you say to yourself “hey this girl’s got something!”. She’s just a regular girl, like the thousands you’ve met before but… for some reason, she’s got something that’s uncontrollably attracting you. Charisma -some call it.
We guys don’t necessarily fall for too cute girls, but for those who appear to mind their looks. If she goes to the gym to keep fit and dresses elegantly… chances are she catches your eye.
But, as you said, there’s one infallible method to get attention from the opposite sex:
SELF-STEEM, no less.
Well, I guess it’s hard to cultivate. I would encourage you to look for the proper situation, as most of us have have our own habitat, where we tend to be ourselves, thus making the most of our potential. This is why you will never see me with confidence inside a disco in Valencia, but you will probably see me approaching girls in Asia
Find your habitat and hunt there!
Good luck and remember: the first step towards marrying a Dr Pierre is moving to France!!
Mwwwwwwwwwah!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010 at 11:37 am
Ahahaha… Since the word “habitat” pop before my eyes, I know what will be the conclusion of your comment. France!
Thanks for stopping by, Giy! As usual, we share the same view. Muahhhh!
Sunday, December 5, 2010 at 2:12 pm
hi uneng!
first, my deep apologise for this late comments though there seems no excuse to make..:)just found the right time to express my appreciation and thoughts for your writing…:)
thanks for rising this issue, which, to be honest, has been one of my concerns and dared to write it on my blogpost few months ago, here is the link http://entasimanjuntak.wordpress.com/2010/01/25/outer-beauty-ob-atau-inner-beauty-ib/
first, allow me to insert a bit about what I am believing in terms of this topic as this becomes the foundation of my comments…
“And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said,“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;she shall be called Woman,because she was taken out of Man.” (Genesis 2:22-23)
if we go back a bit, there’s a verse saying “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (verse 18)
In the first verses, I hardly found any hints showing Eve’s outer beauty attracting Adam, and yet i dont thing that the outer appearance was the issue there, as fashion or sort of things was not yet a priority. The only hint I found was in the verse 18 ” a helper fit for him”. Notice that ‘fit’ here is linked with ‘helper’, meaning that the relationship should be able to build up one another.
so, to find someone fit for us is to find someone that can encourage and support us to be us as really us (the image of God), and vice versa.
however, after the Fall, the motive becomes turned upside down. Physical beauty becomes the first, while the ability to build up each other comes later.
having said that, we should place this issue right side up rather than continue to see it upside down. As women, I think, regardless our marital status, should be focussing our mind on things that can encourage people and together build up each other as God’s image. And this should be the first priority to be beautiful.
About outer appearance, which should be the next priority, I can only say that a woman should dress modestly and appropriately…whereas other appearances such as words, attitude, and all our conduct should have been covered in the first priority.
If only all people know and remember that “charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (Proverbs 31:30), there should not be any confusion about outer and inner beauty…:)
the last thing I want to comment is about self confidence. yes, this is one of the hardest parts for women, we all struggle for this as no one is perfect, we all find our limitations and weaknesses. But if only we understand and always remember that we’re loved by God very dearly and saved through Christ, we shouldnt be too anxious about self confidence. our price is not valued by our own appearance but by the blood of Christ, how precious we are actually!
uneng, that’s all I can comment. I found myself not being able to comment by my own words, that’s why I referred to some verses in the Bible.